, , ,

Christmas in July Chat with Elf Ernest


Elf Ernest was the featured guest in North Pole Chat on July 4th. He spoke with Elf Frank Myrrh of North Pole Radio News accompanied by Elf Crash Murphy, International Director of Santa Trackers at SantaTrackers.net.

This chat centered on what could possibly be on Santa’s mind. Several months ago Santa said he has a special message he wants to send out. But he has not said what it is or when he is going to share it.

This is how the conversation went:

Elf Frank Myrrh Let’s begin
Elf Ulan No problem!
Elf Frank Myrrh Elf Ernest, you’re leading off Christmas in July for North Pole Chat. Do you have any announcements to make?
Elf Ernest No. Hahaha. I have no reason to be here that I am aware of. I have no idea why I get to go first.
Elf Frank Myrrh Oh. I was expecting maybe you and Santa had something to announce
Elf Ernest Nope. I’ve barely seen Santa since he got back.
Elf Frank Myrrh What is Santa up to?
Elf Ernest He’s been at the Workshop a lot since he got back. He’s working very hard is what I’m told.
Elf Frank Myrrh You know, I have heard that Santa is quite the craftsman. But in my experience he doesn’t spend much time in the workshop
Elf Ernest He doesn’t. He’s got so many responsibilities.
Elf Frank Myrrh So do you know why here’s there?
Elf Ernest Not really. But I hear there are times and maybe this is one of them where he just puts on a tool belt and gets on the line like any other elf.
Elf Frank Myrrh Is there a problem in the workshop?
Elf Ernest No. The board shows all lights are green there. They are meeting their goals, elves are showing up. I haven’t heard of any problems.
Crash Murphy Someone told me Santa was focusing on girl toys.
Elf Ernest Really?
Elf Frank Myrrh How do you know that. Crash?
Crash Murphy I cannot reveal my sources.
Elf Ernest Hahaha. Crash, you’re making me laugh.
Elf Frank Myrrh Elf Ulan, do you have any questions for Elf Ernest?
Elf Frank Myrrh Ernest, what does the Senior Vice President of Public Relations do for Christmas in July?
Elf Ulan Thank you!
Elf Ernest I eat a lot of hot dogs, Frank.
Elf Frank Myrrh Well, we all do that in July.
Elf Ernest Are you in on the weenie contest this year, Frank?
Crash Murphy In on it? He’s the biggest weenie of them all.
Elf Frank Myrrh LOL
Elf Ernest Crash, Crash, Crash….
Elf Ulan Elf Ernest, oh, how about the frozen hamburger Santa made?
Elf Ernest Santa’s famous snowball burgers? I love them!
Elf Ulan Nice
Elf Frank Myrrh We should make sure we remind people that the North Pole weenie contest isn’t like other hot dog contests out there.
Elf Ernest Yes, our hot dog contest isn’t about who can eat the most.
Elf Frank Myrrh Correct. The contest is who can roast the best weenie. That takes some work.
Crash Murphy I have never understood the North Pole hot dog contest. How can you separate WHO makes the best one?
Elf Ernest Elf Chef Pierre is a tough weenie judge!
Elf Ulan Eating or making contest? Both?
Elf Frank Myrrh Will Santa be joining that contest again?
Elf Ernest It’s a roasting contest. It has very strict rules for something so simple.
Elf Ernest They have to use the supplied all-beef hot dogs and it can only be cooked on a stick over an open fire. No spicing, no saucing, just roasted
Crash Murphy That means they all taste the same!
Elf Ernest No, it doesn’t Crash. That’s the point.
Elf Ulan Wow
Elf Ernest I went to Elf Chef Pierre’s workshop on this yesterday
Elf Frank Myrrh Wait, there’s a weenie roasting workshop?
Elf Ernest Yeah, dozen of elves were there. It was incredibly informative.
Elf Ulan Bear hotdog, not pork?
Elf Ulan Best
Crash Murphy How can holding a hot dog over a fire be….informative?
Elf Ulan Beef..
Elf Ernest Crash, there’s rotation, proximity to the flame, the type of wood used for the fire, relative humidity, roasting time, and wave technique. A lot goes into it.
Elf Frank Myrrh Relative humidity? How can anyone control that?
Elf Ulan Sorry, my brain doesn’t work. I mean they make beef hotdogs
Elf Ernest You can’t, Frank. But you have to know it. Did you know that a dry location where the humidity is less than 30% you have to add about 5 degrees to your roast angle?
Crash Murphy Shut the front door!
Elf Ernest I know, right?
Elf Frank Myrrh Oh yes, they make all beef hot dogs. They’re delicious. Have you ever had a Wagyu dog, Elf Ulan?
Crash Murphy Oooh, I love Wagyu dogs. They’re a bit messy though.
Elf Ernest Yes, I tried one once.
Elf Ulan no, I haven’t wagyu dog!
Elf Frank Myrrh You sound like you’re going to compete in the hot dog contest, Elf Ernest?
Elf Ernest Oh no. I don’t do contests.
Crash Murphy You should do it Elf Ernest
Elf Ulan Lol
Elf Ernest No…I can’t do that.
Elf Frank Myrrh Why not?
Elf Ernest I’m a senior elf. I am here to support the team.
Crash Murphy He is afraid he might win, Frank.
Elf Frank Myrrh Is that true, Elf Ernest?
Elf Ernest No, I know I’d never win.
Crash Murphy He should participate like any other elf.
Crash Murphy But he won’t. He never does.
Elf Ulan How about an Eggnog chug? Did you join, Elf Ernest?
Elf Ernest Yes, that’s right. And yes, I enjoy eggnog. But not enough to join the contest.
Elf Frank Myrrh Elf Ernest…I know you are like the most responsible elf out there. But I don’t understand what would be wrong with you having a little fun now and then.
Elf Ernest I have fun!
Elf Frank Myrrh I’m not saying that. I’m just wondering why you can’t just be one of the guys especially on something like this.
Elf Ernest I get in there and cook a hot dog. I just don’t enter it in the contest.
Crash Murphy Frank, I think I understand why he does that.
Elf Frank Myrrh Why, Crash?
Crash Murphy He doesn’t want to hurt any feelings. He doesn’t want anyone to suspect the contest is rigged or unfair in some way.
Elf Frank Myrrh Why would anyone ever think that? It’s a hot dog contest, we’re not doing brain surgery here.
Elf Ernest Yeah, but Frank….
Elf Ulan Elf Ernest, you enjoy making, not comparing with others
Crash Murphy Elf Ernest knows how fired up elves can be over any kind of game, Frank.
Elf Ernest Yes, Elf Ulan. That’s exactly correct.
Elf Frank Myrrh It’s a HOT DOG contest!!!!
Crash Murphy Yes, Frank. And with a name like Frank you should understand this.
Elf Ulan Having hun is important! XD
Elf Ernest Hahaha! Crash….
Elf Ulan Fun
Elf Ernest I have fun the way I do it. I really enjoy it. Certainly better than the Kool Aid dunking booth
Elf Frank Myrrh Are you doing the dunking booth this year?
Elf Ernest No, I got excused on account of my foot
Crash Murphy Your foot?
Elf Ernest Yes, I had a little procedure a few months ago and I’m still healing.
Elf Frank Myrrh I didn’t know that. Are you okay?
Elf Ernest Yes, it’s going good. I just have to keep going to therapy and slow down a little bit.
Crash Murphy I had no idea.
Elf Ulan Sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon
Elf Frank Myrrh Me either. You’re kinda a quiet elf.
Elf Ernest Not everything is news, Frank.
Crash Murphy Are there a lot of things you know that you cannot have the News Department report, Elf Ernest?
Elf Ernest Oh yes. Not everything needs to be shared.
Crash Murphy What’s Santa’s favorite color?
Elf Ernest Black.
Elf Ulan What do you want to enjoy during Christmas in July?
Elf Frank Myrrh Wait – wut???
Elf Ernest There is so much about Christmas in July I enjoy, Elf Ulan.
Elf Frank Myrrh Santa’s favorite color is BLACK?
Crash Murphy You didn’t know that, Frank?
Elf Ulan For example?
Elf Frank Myrrh No I didn’t know that. And YOU asked the question Crash!
Crash Murphy Yes, it’s a trick question.
Elf Ernest Yes, it is a trick question.
Elf Frank Myrrh How can Santa’s favorite color be black? And how is that a trick question?
Elf Ulan How about your favorite color, Elf Ernast?
Crash Murphy Because Santa only likes black with red.
Elf Ulan Lol
Elf Frank Myrrh Wait – huh?
Elf Ernest Yes, that’s right. It’s a little thing Santa does when he visits children. A lot of them ask that question and Santa looks at what they are wearing and he says that color….with red.
Elf Frank Myrrh So it’s never really black?
Crash Murphy Nope. It’s whatever with red.
Elf Ernest That’s right.
Elf Frank Myrrh That’s confusing!
Crash Murphy No, that’s one of the oldest Dad jokes in the book. And Santa is horrible with that kind of thing.
Elf Ernest Hahaha – yes, it’s a Dad joke. Santa’s a master.
Elf Frank Myrrh I had no idea about all this stuff. Next time I see Santa I’m going to ask him his favorite color and see if he pulls this on me.
Elf Ulan Wait, red with black? Not white?
Crash Murphy Just wear that ugly sweater you were in the other day, Frank.
Elf Frank Myrrh The one with your face on it?
Crash Murphy That’s the one.
Elf Frank Myrrh Why do you want me to wear that to ask Santa this question?
Crash Murphy Cause it has yellow, green, purple and some other colors in it.
Crash Murphy I wanna see what Santa picks.
Elf Frank Myrrh Santa isn’t going to Dad joke old Frank.
Elf Ulan Me too!
Elf Ernest Oh yes he would!
Crash Murphy Yeah, he would, Frank.
Crash Murphy I think Santa would mess with you in a heartbeat.
Elf Ernest I think he would, too, Frank.
Elf Frank Myrrh Seriously? Santa’s always so serious around me.
Crash Murphy Yeah, why do you think that is, Frank?
Elf Ernest Hahaha – I like where this is going.
Elf Frank Myrrh I’m so confused. Why would Santa mess with me?
Crash Murphy Because you’re the news guy, Frank. And he hears me mess with you and he’s jealous.
Elf Ernest HAHAHA
Elf Ernest I wouldn’t say jealous….
Elf Frank Myrrh Wow. This all blows me away…
Crash Murphy Yeah, this chat’s not going to get published now.
Elf Ernest Hahaha.
Elf Frank Myrrh Why not?
Elf Frank Myrrh Oh, and we’re about out of time. Actually we’re over time.
Elf Ulan lol
Elf Ernest It’s okay, remember I didn’t have any announcements.
Crash Murphy Right, Elf Ernest.
Elf Frank Myrrh Well, Elf Ernest, any last comments for all your adoring fans out there?
Elf Ulan I actually wanted to ask a different question though lol
Elf Ernest No, just that I’m looking forward to this year. It’s been an incredibly smooth year so far and I think it’s going to be a lot of fun from here on out.
Elf Frank Myrrh Go ahead and ask your question Elf Ulan.
Crash Murphy It HAS been a smooth year!
Elf Ulan Thank you!
Elf Ernest Yes, please Elf Ulan
Elf Ulan Is there a theme for Operation Merry Christmas every year?
Elf Ernest A theme? Not really. I think Operation Merry Christmas IS the theme. But some years different things happen that can give it a different feel, I guess.
Elf Ulan I feel something different after Santa’s walkabout
Elf Frank Myrrh What do you mean, Elf Ulan?
Elf Ernest I think I know what Elf Ulan means.
Elf Frank Myrrh I have heard some other elves say this, too.
Elf Ulan I feel Santa learned a lot last year, so he thinks about it
Elf Ernest Yes, he does, Elf Ulan. You are very wise.
Elf Frank Myrrh So…what is it that Santa is thinking about?
Elf Ernest I think Santa will tell us. When he’s ready.
Elf Ulan Thank you, Elf Ernest
Crash Murphy I think that’s a good way to put it.
Elf Frank Myrrh Crash…you know about this?
Crash Murphy I don’t know anything. But I agree with Elf Ulan. Santa has something to say.
Elf Frank Myrrh Yeah, but what?
Elf Ernest I know.
Elf Frank Myrrh You do?
Elf Ulan I’m curious what people Santa met last year told him and what Santa saw there
Elf Ernest Yes, Santa and I have talked.
Elf Frank Myrrh TELL US!
Elf Ernest I can’t, Frank. That’s Santa’s thing.
Crash Murphy I think Santa is waiting for the right time.
Elf Frank Myrrh Well…is it a good thing?
Elf Ernest Of course it’s a good thing. He’s Santa. He can only be good.
Crash Murphy Again, you’re saying it just right.
Elf Frank Myrrh Do you know what it is, Crash? You talk to Santa a lot.
Elf Ulan I think Santa wants to make a good thing
Crash Murphy No, I don’t know anything. But I agree with Elf Ulan. I can feel it.
Elf Ernest Santa has a lot on his mind. He always does. He’s really interesting.
Elf Ulan Thank you, Elf Crash
Elf Ernest He’s a very patient man.
Elf Frank Myrrh Elf Ernest. Santa will be chatting later this month for Christmas in July. Do you think he will tell us then?
Elf Ernest I don’t know, Frank. He could I suppose. I don’t advise Santa on things like this.
Elf Ulan Santa’s thoughts are so deep even he makes us laugh
Elf Frank Myrrh Does Santa seek your advice?
Elf Ernest Sometimes.
Elf Frank Myrrh With what?
Elf Ernest How to cook weenies.
Crash Murphy LOL
Elf Ulan Lol
Elf Frank Myrrh Ok, Elf Ernest! We’ll leave it at that. Thanks for being in North Pole Chat with us!
Crash Murphy Yeah, this was a good chat, thanks Elf Ernest!
Elf Ernest Well thank you all. I hope you all enjoy Christmas in July. It’s gonna be fun.
Elf Ulan Thank you, Elf Ernest, Elf Crash, and Elf Frank!
Elf Frank Myrrh Join us Sunday folks when Elf Victor from the Reindeer Department will be our guest.
Elf Frank Myrrh Thank you Elf Ulan!
Elf Ernest Elf Victor is always a good chat!
Crash Murphy Are you hosting that chat, Frank?
Elf Frank Myrrh I don’t know yet.
Crash Murphy Ok.
Elf Ulan Thank you! I hope to see you all again soon!
Crash Murphy Thanks everyone for being here!
Elf Frank Myrrh Yes, thank you all!
Elf Ernest Bye everyone!
Crash Murphy Bye!
Elf Ulan Thank you! It was fun a lot!
Elf Frank Myrrh Make it a great day everyone!

Subscribe to the North Pole News from SantaUpdate.com!

0 0 votes
Rate this Santa Update!
Notify of

1 Comment
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Thank you, Elf Wonslow! It was so much fun! Thank you, Elf Ernest, Elf Crash, and Elf Frank; you are always the best! I hope Elf Ernest feels better soon and everyone at the North Pole enjoys the events, including the roasting hotdogs contest! I wish I could join one of them. I’m looking forward to hearing about Santa’s announcement soon! XD