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North Pole Medical Center Seeing Sick Elves

updateIn a distressing bit of news this morning we are receiving reports of several sick elves showing up at the North Pole Medical Center. Could it be the return of the Bah Humbug Virus?

Elf Dr. Lionel P. Spock says no. “These elves are coming in with runny noses, sore throats and weak coughs,” Elf Lionel said. “But every one of them is cheerful and can’t wait to see Santa launch later tonight. Plus, they have had all their shots. We think things are fine. This is probably because of the weather and how hard all the elves are working.”

Over the past two hours more than a dozen elves have shown up to be seen by Dr. Spock.

— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole


Estimated Time to Launch: 19 hours
Current North Pole Weather: 15 Degrees, Heavy Snow, High Winds
Command Center Status: All systems are go, all lights are green
Santa’s Status: Sleeping
Reindeer Status: Sleeping
Santa’s Workshop Status: 92% complete, still working
Santa’s Sleigh Status: 90% ready, sleigh bells being tuned
Wrapping Department Status: 55% complete, emergency contingency plans deployed
North Pole Christmas Party Readiness: 40% complete; the Chair committee has shown up to begin setting up tables and chairs
North Pole Medical Center Report: 9 elves have reported to the emergency room in the past hour
North Pole Post Office Status: 91% complete, full staff working
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Non-believers in the neighborhood reported in Trenton, New Jersey, USA; Christmas light theft reported in Naples, Florida USA; all clear for Santa’s flight reported in Calais, France…